If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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