started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
