I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
