WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
