i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
