Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
