The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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