haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
