Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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