I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
