"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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