Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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