I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
