Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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