Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
