The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
