so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
