Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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