My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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