Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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