How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need to calm my uterus...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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