after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
