3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
