Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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