pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
