Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hippo gnu deer
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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