High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
