I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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