After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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