i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
do nipples grow back?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize