dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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