Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
