is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
