I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
