next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
