on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
