I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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