Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
