I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
