Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
