do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
