why didn't you poke me back
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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