Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
