She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
