i just had sex bonerless
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i dont even know how to be here
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
