So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
