Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
