WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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