Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
