White coat. Heels.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
false alarm, still single
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